In alphabetical order, along with some hints on capturing his attention and getting along with him:
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- Cheater [wants to be my spouse's perfect partner? Ensure you can cheat, lie, manipulate and use other people to your heart's content and not feel an ounce of shame—don't ever remind him that whatever he's thinking of doing is immoral; remember that he was raised by a saint-of-a-mother—an enlighten Bodhisattva; a ton of fun can be had if you're gamed to compete against my spouse to see who pulls off the bigger scam-of-the-week]. Our marriage was the biggest scam / fraud of them all.
- Fraudster in auditor's disguise ... how else can he access and download an unencrypted spreadsheet file listing thousands of his colleagues' names, Social Security numbers, and addresses that was saved to a CD [and not for the first or second time]. I will post a photo of that CD with my avoidable spouse's handwritten text on the CD as soon as I locate that jpeg file.
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- Gigolo [to the highest bidder bearing the right payments—cash, designer-label clothing, luxury model cars, and citizenship status of the United States and / or Canada; if you look as if you belong to the upper social class and can afford to propel my spouse and his mother into that world, you'll be the perfect piece of meat for him to get his hooks into].
- Liar [see Cheater above]
- Manipulator [see Cheater above]
- Master monkey-entertainer / trainer [wants my spouse to freely train you in ballroom dancing? Ensure you look like a model but talk and act dumb and stupid—at least in comparison to his alter ego, which is ever present; and stroke his alter ego as if there is no tomorrow—compliment him on every little single things he does, no matter how trivial and full-of-errors they may be; if you can train yourself to think that everything he does is perfection personified, then you'll be his perfect match. Of course, reverse psychology also works on my spouse, if you're the mean type—as he thinks he is peerless in everything that he does, try comparing him to his peers and voicing your criticism of him, and he'll do all that he can, plus a whole lot of exaggeration to prove you're wrong].
- PhD- / scholar-pretender [don't shattered my spouse's delusion of "Dr. Lin, PhD in Economics" or his mother's MA in English or he'll never ever forgive you].
- Pimper-in-training [apparently my spouse has a closet obsession with prostitutes and their lifestyles; he once asked me to design a website for a Dallas prostitute by the name of "Misty Dawn," who has "graced" the cover of several local circulars for men].
- Pimp [get ready to be introduced to the swingers and / or lifestyle clubs—my spouse first tried to get me interested and involved in them back in 1997, then again in 2009—sorry but I'm not into perversions of any kind, though I was curious enough to study the swingers psychology].
- Programmer-wannabe [putting together other coders' original programming solutions from http://www.Experts-Exchange.com does not make one an "expert" programmer; only a semi super-user and synthesizer of others' codes].
- Pseudo-coder [see Programmer-wannabe above].
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