The pattern of behavior of a person who is deceitful, exploitive, callous, cynical, and contemptuous of the rights, feelings, and resources of others can be so subtle and so hard to piece together that it can be missed. Even after being confronted with supporting evidences, I still am finding such behavior too hard to believe, because it is so remote from how I can imagine myself behaving.Disclaimer: I am not liable for any and all embellishments and fabrications of achievements and / or qualifications on my voidable spouse's resume and / or other projects. Full and open disclosure from him in any and all assignments was assumed when I undertook my role as an expert career strategist and a passionate writer. Disclaimer: I am not liable for any and all embellishments and fabrications of achievements and / or qualifications on my voidable spouse's resume and / or other projects. Full and open disclosure from him in any and all assignments was assumed when I undertook my role as an expert career strategist and a passionate writer.
Recently flipped through and glanced at photos taken on our "family vacations"—job-related, out-of-state, week-long professional seminars, workshops, and trainings that my voidable spouse traveled to, and on which trips we tagged along.
I went through the photos not with any specific reason other than a desire to expunge memories of an elaborate lie constructed by a cold-blooded, amoral, exploitative, remorseless, unprincipled, deceiving, and dishonest fraud. Looking at the photos, I wondered what I had seen in this creature that I had wasted the last 16 years of my life with; everything about him made me sick to my stomach. Even if a knife is at my throat I could not find anything redeeming about the last 16 years ... After asking my son whether he would want the photos for keepsakes, with him declining, I burned all those photos and flushed what remained among the ashes down the toilet.
In the sewer among the sewage is where they belonged.
I am a perfectionist and quite critical of myself when it comes to my work and projects. I don't expect praise and accolades from others but for someone closed to me to try to discredit my work while simultaneously claiming the teaching credentials resulting from that same work—an act equaling that of betrayal—is not something I would silently abide by under the banner of being a "good spouse."
or two or three—I lost count after the fourth project. Faith, patience, and resiliency are not always the best combination in a toxic relationship. Sometimes, we may need to let it go. Nothing is worth compromising your mental and physical health.
In response to my voidable spouse's accusation, http://ya-chang-lin.blogspot.com/2013/01/phd-scholar-pretender.html I have never needed the appreciation for my guidance, advice, efforts and time but neither will I remain quiet and take the blame for destroying my voidable spouse's chance at completing his PhD in Economics ...
A barely touched, let alone glanced-at Dissertation Instruction Packet ...
Looking back, I suspect these were among our last honest emotional expressions ... Perhaps, not even that.
