Rational and empathic thinking has been eluding me since last Saturday early evening when my fifteen-year-old recalled and related his memory of how he was introduced to images of lesbian carnality through an incident involving his father and my voidable spouse.
My fifteen-year-old told me how, when at 13 years of age, he witnessed his father watching an explicit online video involving two women engaging in sexual acts, and when he asked if what his father was viewing is porn, his father answered Yes and then proceeded to issue an invitation for the thirteen-year-old to join him. When my son declined to do so, his father shrugged off his response and resumed watching his pornographic flick ...
And No, the thirteen-year-old did not trespass into his father's private space; he was on his way to his bedroom when the soundtrack and the motion picture coming from my voidable spouse's desktop and work computer—which was set up in an open area originally designed as a family playroom—caught his attention.
Even though I was flooding with anxiety [for my son] and contempt [for my voidable spouse] throughout his retelling of the event, my son and I had a positive discussion about that experience with an emphasis on what he can do to protect himself and his relationships through anger management [think suppressed feelings of embarrassment and shame], while allowing others to maintain face and finding a solution that is relevant to his values.
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