Wanted: A lifetime partner

When I was sixteen years old, I knew I want to be a well-educated, refined, culturally enlightened, intensely passionate, actualizing and becoming individual trying to live a life of passion, understanding, authenticity and integrity. 

I wanted to share that life of passion, understanding, authenticity, and integrity with a man who possesses self-knowledge and self-confidence to the extent where he can be a lifetime friend, partner and companion; who will allow me the privilege of being the same to him.  Intellectually and physically, we challenge each other—that is extremely important to me as an individual being, and very exciting as an equal partner.  A partner who intuitively understands and reinforces my world; who respects and matches my quest for constant self-actualization, continuous improvement of everything besetting me, emancipated logic, enlightened thoughts, balanced judgments, professional perfection, constant and evolving refinement, philosophical faith, an appreciation of cultural heritage, and a simple and balanced life of the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical planes of life, with freedom, passions, understanding, achievement, authenticity and integrity centering it all.  I wanted to challenge and to be challenged, to learn, to explore, to experiment, to discover, to share, to grow—intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, physically—with a lifetime partner.

I have never wanted partnerships built on the following motivations:  need for completion, financial convenience, healing, loneliness, self-validation [this gets very tiresome very quickly], or escapism.

Almost thirty years [and sixteen years in a duplicitous and toxic marriage] later, I am still looking for ...
 
That combination of timeless refinement in manners, eloquent passion of ideals and standards, integrity and honor of individual values and principles, discriminating tastes and appreciation of cultural heritage, constant intellectual and philosophical perfection, a je ne sais quoi quality of maleness, and a certain mysterious suggestiveness of wildness and sensuality.

I need the calm, genuine and in-depth understanding, vital wisdom, timeless elegance, and eloquent passions of a man well seasoned—but not jaded—by life.  A man who is unconditionally in love with life and finds it full of thrilling excitement, conquerable challenges, and wondrous surprises and delights.

Qualities and / or character traits I simply will not abide with:  possessiveness, jealousy, suspiciousness, pettiness, lack of self-discipline and self-control, maudlin emotions and hysterical feelings—intensity of feelings and emotions are great and enjoyable, within certain domains, and only if they lead to a profounder understanding.  Otherwise they are just burdensome and unnecessary drainers of character strength and energy.  Too much useless emotions kill my objectivity, creativity, and sense of balance.

If you're not afraid of being touched in a special way, I am that haunting and indefinable essence who with passions of the mind, the heart, and the soul, will mysteriously and beautifully magnetize our souls, minds, hearts into a rare and singing harmony of Oneness.