"Real" jade bracelet

On my spouse's visit back to Taiwan in November 2011 when he asked if I had any special gift that he can bring back, I requested a traditional green jade bangle-style bracelet to accompany a jade necklace that was given to me in high school by my mother.  What I received on my spouse's arrival on Thanksgiving 2011 was this ...

Yes, I was majorly disappointed but what I deeply resented more was my spouse's insistence that the bracelet was genuine jade [and in the process treating me like a fool from some village that he himself probably grew up in].  So investigate I did, just to see how far and deep he'd be willing to go to maintain his lies [and face] ...

So, not only did my spouse ignore and dishonor my request for a bangle-style jade bracelet but he chose to be persuaded by other people's opinions as to what I would have wanted and wasted our money on a "gift" for which he thought I should feel grateful.  Sorry but this line of "reasoning" made little logical sense to me.  Notice, also, how my spouse exaggerated in equating the time period from November 2011 to January 2012 to that of "over the year."

Ballroom ego and the resulting fiasco

The photos below were captured from the Southwestern Invitational Dancesport Championship website at http://www.southwesterninvitational.com/pages/photo%20gallery.html [they are frames 17 and 18 of the Flash photo gallery]. 

 



































My spouse had proudly announced in my face [and with our son in the same room whereby this conversation took place] that this woman, who was—at one time, our ballroom dancing student—looking to compete with him in the Amateur-Professional American Smooth and / or International Standard Division at the September 2012 Southwestern Invitational Dancesport Championship, wanted to f__k him and gift him her husband's Mercedes-Benz if my spouse would willingly take her on as a private student, showcasing partner, and co-instructor.

[I have an audio recording of this shameless and egotistical dialogue, which served as a centerpiece in an article I penned for my private blog, http://dictionary-of-questions.blogspot.com/ on how action causes reactions.  The audio is a safeguard against my spouse's eventual denial that such embarrassing boasting took place and his shifting the whole mess onto me, like everything else ... ]

My response? 

The letter mentioned in above email ...

My "lack of contributions to this marriage" | The sequel

A preliminary with these first two emails before the visual [and reading] tour ...

How do you counteract a pathological liar?

Do you, readers, have any advice on how you deal with a persistent liar in your life?  Am interested in any and all techniques that have worked for you.  You may respond to this post and / or send me your ideas via email.  I thank you in advance for all of your suggestions.

Taiwanese lifetime universal insurance

From: Phandeluys A [mailto:wordmyth@gmail.com]
Sent: Sunday, January 27, 2013 8:22 PM
To: Lin, Ya-Chang; Ya-Chang Lin; ya_chang_lin@yahoo.com
Subject: AAFES

Your fifteen-years milestone in AAFES i{s} approaching; no wonder, you tried so hard to maintain whatever pretenses of love and peace in this marriage while squirreling away resources that were supposed to be mine and D's, and cheating with other Chinese / Taiwanese from abroad behind my back ... Am glad we started the investigations on you before you'd succeeded in your plans. You and yours deserve exactly whatever that's coming [to you and yours].

Phandeluys Truong

On Mon, Jan 28, 2013 at 9:03 AM, Lin, Ya-Chang <LinYC@aafes.com> wrote:

Phandeluys,

You have been told not to write to AAFES email address.  However, I will answer to this one as this has something to do with AAFES benefit.

A fifteen-years milestone is only applying to grandfather  insurance with no other additional benefit.  As you know AAFES insurance has been very important to you, I  and our son Dominicq, however the grandfather portion is mostly benefit to only you and Dominicq. As a Taiwanese Citizen, we all have lifetime universal insurance with much lower deductible, I can care less this grandfather insurance if not because of you and Dominicq.

Th{e} is another evidence to prove your past actions and goal to me and our family {}have been reckless, irrational and aim to destroy my car{rier} instead of assisting as you claimed to be. Furthermore, {Y}ou did not { }(or incapable{}) {}consider our son’s best interest also makes you an unfit mother.  It is clear to me you do not need nor deserve any of my  employment {}benefit at our divorce settlement.

Robert

I guess my mother-in-law's Taiwanese lifetime universal insurance with its much lower deductible did not provide basic and comprehensive medical cover for trips abroad from her home countries of Taiwan and China ... 

An "unfit mother" am I?  Because I am determined to speak from the heart and a place of truth, to give the concealed and falsified past a voice, and will not bow down before my spouse's threats and scare tactics ... Shall we shine the mirror of reflection on my spouse ...

  

Phandeluys A 5:18 PM (4 minutes ago)

To Ya Chang, ya_chang_lin, Ya Chang

Hm{m} ... You've just proven yourself a liar: Did you or did you not say that AAFES has blocked my correspondences to you at this email address? Any and all of my written communications to you have always been sent to all three of your email addresses, just in case you claimed to have never intercepted them. How convenient that you choose to respond using this particular email ... Concerning your Taiwanese lifetime universal insurance, why is it then that you and your mother neglected to pay her hospital bill here in the United States when she visited in 1997? Am sure had you informed the hospital that she was a foreign national visiting the US with full insurance, hospital administrator would have insisted that her bills be completely paid before she was to be discharged [another collusion against the hospital, huh?]
 
Too bad that benefits from one working spouse to a nonworking spouse is not to be determined by lying, cheating, manipulating, and lowlife jerks such as yourself, but by the court. Something so simple like this must be explained to you in plain English, then I've no idea what can be "clear" to you ... a street-corner gigolo selling his entertaining skills yet keeps dubbing himself as the next IT innovator. Next time, try brushing up on your thinking skills before penning and sending out your response to me ... you'd not want to leave embarrassing evidences of your incompetence.
 
Phandeluys Truong

Once a shameless liar, always a shameless liar

Jan 22 12:27 PM
12146367393:I am not your enemy and we have a son together. Whatever we do, please put D {and} his future as the first priority. We can either save as much money {as} possible for his future or waste all of them in the ridiculous legal law suit, the choice is clear. Until right now, after been locked out by you and all your illegal posting, I am still making all the payments for you and D. Please do not force my hand.

A "ridiculous law suit"—to whose eyes?  The offender or the defender?  I am simply seeking justice and legal recourse from all the acts of deception and defamation—criminal and civil—my spouse has been engaging in during the last 16 years against me and our son.

Do I have another option other than to change the locks when after repeatedly asking / begging my spouse to clean up his filthy living space that has been accumulating dirt, dust, rotten food, moldy drinks, stinks, and bacteria [and polluting other living areas]; and when he keeps on delaying, starting with days then weeks, months, and years until our son suffers severely from allergy with sources originating inside the house and the cornea of my right eye becomes permanently scarred from bacteria [or he cleans up the Chang-Lin style, which is dumping everything into trash bags and moving them into another room or living space]; even after I began the cleanup and sanitizing [and the start of my discovery of who my spouse truly is and what this marriage has been all these years], what does he do:  threatens to take my beloved books [boxed in plastic bins—yes, we "saved" so much that there's barely any money left to afford second-hand bookshelves] and the camera that he "gifted" me; threatens me with legal suit [which amounts to nothing], tempts me and our son with financial "gifts" and bribery—and when those didn't work, my spouse went back to the only "negotiating" tool he knows [and was taught to him by his father]—financial choke holds.  Threats to me, I can calmly deal with; threats to our son—verbally, emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and financially, I will not tolerate.

In my posting, Quid pro quo? I think not [Dec 29], I laid out and hinted at the conditions on which I will allow my spouse to re-access our home; not once has my spouse apologized for his threats, let alone be willing to peacefully discuss the stipulations and / or prerequisites for a harmonious family life [with a minimum baseline for our emotional, psychological, mental, physical, and fiscal health and well-being].  Thus far, my spouse has only to mandate that he be "in charge" of all financial matters.  I don't think this is discussion and compromising; do you, readers?  More than highly likely is that my spouse enjoys the separate living arrangement of a "single man"—affordable with all the tax-free money he earns from ballroom dancing gigs but is afraid to boast for fear of legal repercussions and the shatter of the "family man" illusion / act he had worked so hard these many years to paint in deceiving others.  So that's where I come in: by accusing me of locking him out, he earns himself [or so he thinks and boasts to those unenlightened minds that he surrounds himself with] the "moral justification" to pursue the lifestyle he calls "The American Dream"—unfettered sexual exploits; designer-labels spending; fine dining at the latest, hip-to-be-seen-at restaurants, bars, and clubs ... . Behind that mask of "family man," my spouse is just another Asian playboy wannabe whose inclinations were clipped by ambitious yet dull, boring, and extremely frugal parents ... Let us now watch how this creature f___s up his life [and those of me and my son's] in his "midlife crisis." 

My spouse's claims to "still making all the payments" for me and our son?  Here's the reality [just a sampling]:

I guess our son is never too young to start paying his own bills ... Question is what would it take for a patient of a minor age—and not the insurance policy owner—to be designated the responsible party?  I have always heard that the villager mentality regarding the care-taking and nurturance of children can be summarized in providing a child with "a bowl of rice and a pair of chopsticks"—I never thought I would see it in action, certainly not from a front-row seat.  [Of course, my spouse will deny ever seeing this bill, just like he and his mother never saw her hospital bill from Norman Regional Hospital when she was visiting us back in 1997.]

Jan 22 12:48 PM
146367393:Please either text me through your phone or email me to my personal yahoo account. I will not accept or answer any more communication to AAFES email or text from your email to my phone. AAFES email will block your email from this point on. I think text is between two cell phones. You want the privacy and not being text all the time, so do I. If is emergency, you can either call or text me through a cell phone.

Jan 22 5:36 PM
Phandeluys A. Truong:You forced my hands with all your duplicities when we first met, which continue throughout the duration of this marriage. You've been my hidden enemy, stealing whatever you could from my mother, D, and me in whatever ways you dreamt of. That's how I am treating you and how I want the various agencies to treat you and yours. Before all this began, I gave you and us three chances to come clean and to put things on the table for the purposes of compromising and possible reconciliation of the marriage; you kept dallying and lying and cheating. What is happening now is the result of your motivations, actions, and / or lack of actions. Don't blame me. Making all the payments? You should since you're the only breadwinner here. Am the one who wants to sell the house for a down-gradable and affordable one; you want to keep the house, pay for it, along with its maintenance / upkeep. Good that AAFES has found its way to block my email; something so simple yet has taken so long to execute. Whether you keep up with your family and D or not is your problem, not mine. I only have text and email for record-keeping purposes—we know your tendency to deny and lie too well to try and communicate with you in other manner. And even when we find an acceptable way for me to record a conversation between you and me, am sure you'll accuse me of dubbing someone else's voice as your own ... Your parents taught you exceptionally well in the arts of lying, cheating, manipulating, sucking-up-to, and acting / pretending—Academy Award caliber, actually. If I didn't put D's future, which you and {your} ass-of-a-mother stole from him, as a priority, I'd not stayed with you for these 15 years, nor put everything I had into your career, side businesses, and online academic teaching jobs, jerk. So, do the worst that you can against us.

Yao Ming, but drunken

My fourteen-year-old son has been at a stage where he is quite curious [and critical] of his roots of origin.  Although I would have preferred to save him from any and all embarrassments about members of his family, I think the best policy in addressing his mixed bag of questions is to answer each of the questions—explicitly voiced or implicitly implied—as honestly as possible, even if that means confronting the lies my spouse concocted about his background with proofs.  Thankfully, my son has a healthy sense of self-esteem and does not uncritically translate personal failures of other family members as [extensions of] his own.

"He looks like Yao Ming, but drunken" was my son's response on seeing photos of his uncle, my spouse's older brother.  [I'll refrain from mentioning his descriptive analogy of my spouse's {supposedly} first girlfriend], but I have to say my son is kind-hearted.



The multiple creatures that make up Robert Ya-Chang Lin

In alphabetical order, along with some hints on capturing his attention and getting along with him:

• Cheater [wants to be my spouse's perfect partner?  Ensure you can cheat, lie, manipulate and use other people to your heart's content and not feel an ounce of shame—don't ever remind him that whatever he's thinking of doing is immoral; remember that he was raised by a saint-of-a-mother—an enlighten Bodhisattva; a ton of fun can be had if you're gamed to compete against my spouse to see who pulls off the bigger scam-of-the-week].  Our marriage was the biggest scam / fraud of them all.


• Fraudster in auditor's disguise ... how else can he access and download an unencrypted spreadsheet file listing thousands of his colleagues' names, Social Security numbers, and addresses that was saved to a CD [and not for the first or second time].  I will post a photo of that CD with my avoidable spouse's handwritten text on the CD as soon as I locate that jpeg file.

More company data ...

 


 

• Gigolo [to the highest bidder bearing the right payments—cash, designer-label clothing, luxury model cars, and citizenship status of the United States and / or Canada; if you look as if you belong to the upper social class and can afford to propel my spouse and his mother into that world, you'll be the perfect piece of meat for him to get his hooks into].


• Liar [see Cheater above]


• Manipulator [see Cheater above]


• Master monkey-entertainer / trainer [wants my spouse to freely train you in ballroom dancing?  Ensure you look like a model but talk and act dumb and stupid—at least in comparison to his alter ego, which is ever present; and stroke his alter ego as if there is no tomorrow—compliment him on every little single things he does, no matter how trivial and full-of-errors they may be; if you can train yourself to think that everything he does is perfection personified, then you'll be his perfect match.  Of course, reverse psychology also works on my spouse, if you're the mean type—as he thinks he is peerless in everything that he does, try comparing him to his peers and voicing your criticism of him, and he'll do all that he can, plus a whole lot of exaggeration to prove you're wrong].


• PhD- / scholar-pretender [don't shattered my spouse's delusion of "Dr. Lin, PhD in Economics" or his mother's MA in English or he'll never ever forgive you].

• Pimper-in-training [apparently my spouse has a closet obsession with prostitutes and their lifestyles; he once asked me to design a website for a Dallas prostitute by the name of "Misty Dawn," who has "graced" the cover of several local circulars for men].


• Pimp [get ready to be introduced to the swingers and / or lifestyle clubs—my spouse first tried to get me interested and involved in them back in 1997, then again in 2009—sorry but I'm not into perversions of any kind, though I was curious enough to study the swingers psychology].


• Programmer-wannabe [putting together other coders' original programming solutions from http://www.Experts-Exchange.com does not make one an "expert" programmer; only a semi super-user and synthesizer of others' codes].


• Pseudo-coder [see Programmer-wannabe above].

My cleanup tour through the garage | Photos

This tour was a double whammy for me ... 

Had I been shown these photos, along with others [and their truths—the road trips with how many girlfriends, and to locations my spouse claimed he'd only ever visited with me and our son; so much for building a storehouse of memories just for the three of us  ... ] 

Yet, I still had faith in him and wanted to properly care for the photos, seeing how they were a part of my spouse's history.  [Yes, you can call me sentimental and foolish ... and a perfect person to be duped.]

My cleanup tour through the garage | Documents

Only a sampling ...